Found this utterly fascinating. I think I'm one of the unfortunates re the amygdala!
More and more people I know use podcasts to soothe to sleep. I was researching for a piece I was writing about it, and was stunned to discover half of American podcast listeners do just that.
I'm convinced we need to learn to cope with the silence. From my experience takes a little patience and training.
Your strategies here seem very valuable and actionable, will definitely give them a try.
Half of American listeners is a pretty striking number. I think you're right that learning to sit with silence matters. Perhaps podcasts act as a kind of attentional shield, but they might also mean we never get comfortable with what's underneath.
Having said that though I still do listen to Youtube video's to fall asleep haha
Totally understandable! And no shaming implied! I love the term "attentional shield": perfect way to describe it.
This is a longer story, but I'm increasingly convinced that if silence is worth fighting for, then that battle is best done during the day, when one is alert and intentional. As mentioned, I used the otherwise "dead time" of the commute. I think that has had knock-on effects for my comfort with silence in the evening. My tired brain follows the lead of my awake brain. If that makes sense!
I've listened to the BBC'S shipping forecast to fall asleep. It makes no logical sense. I know nothing about shipping (I know boats skoot on water). I am 6400km from London.
This is such a great addition - I also have no idea what they're saying! I suspect it works in a very similar to 'cognitive shuffling' although I'm sure some of my family (who love sailing) would have some words to say about it being nonsense haha
I know it very well! Live quite close to London myself, but even so the names they mention feel very distant, in an evocative way. I still remember the first time I ever heard a "Hurricane Force 12".
I can totally understand why you'd listen to it, it's a lovely thing. It seems very far-fetched to imagine it would be in any way harmful. I think my curiosity is more about what's happening when more and more of our day can be filled with sound. About the absence of silence. But to explore it is challenging, because so many things that fill the silence are wonderful! Like the shipping forecast.
"In Our Time" is perhaps the greatest achievement of global media ever. I love that show more than anything. Now I think about it, having just written about the conflict between virtuous podcasts and silence, that really is the example I should have used. In Our Time is more or less perfection.
The literal answer to your question is that I commute wearing a high vis vest that says Phone Free Commute :-) So two hours a day of total mental quiet. I started because I realised my phone pickups were automatic and I wanted to train it out of me, and it's been really successful in that. I'm two and half months in now, and though it wasn't the starting point, have become very interested in the utility of silence.
I look forward to reading your work. Not very familiar with compassion and reframing so am keen to learn more. My technique very much based on meta-cognition, teaching the mind to recognise that part which automatically reaches for the phone. I'm very interested in how techniques from the contemplative traditions can be helpful in disentangling the mind from the phone, and repairing the damage.
Kind of! A standard high vis vest that I stuck a label on. It's somewhere between an experiment in neuroplasticity and a mid-life crisis. Plus I'm a TV producer so I love a good show.
In all seriousness, the social commitment of wearing it has been remarkably successful. And the effects of knocking out two hours of heavy phone use and replacing with intentional silence have been far more than I'd have expected.
I'm a practitioner/phone addict, not a scientist, so I actually used your piece the other week on dopamine as the intellectual heft in understanding my felt experience. I'd be honoured if you took a look -
What an ingenious idea to not only hold yourself accountable but also prompt others to question their phone decisions and usage as well. (And for 2.5 months now, congrats!)
Thank you! I thought it was too, but it hasn't always felt like that :-)
My adherence has been 100 per cent, and I'm as certain as I can be that I wouldn't have achieved it without the social commitment. It really works. And honestly, the benefits have been spectacular (kicking in at around the 4/5 week mark), so much so that I'm not sure when I'd stop.
Others questioning their usage…. Not sure that has happened! But have definitely had a lot of lovely conversations. It raises some smiles, a bit of brightness in an otherwise glum place anyway.
I have personal experience with sleep-performance insomnia and can viscerally relate to everything you wrote in this great article.
The two biggest movers of the needle for me were: (1) finding a way to accept the state of being awake, and (2) awareness the next day of the "impacts" of the bad night of sleep, and how they actually paled in comparison to the catastrophising thoughts the night before.
Acceptance (point 1) required practicing meta-awareness. When hit with a wave of panic, I would compassionately acknowledge the sensation (and thoughts) and then redirect my attention to the present moment. Again and again. This in itself would bring online the PFC and tamp down that over-wrought amygdala.
Wishing luck to anyone else going through a similar situation. Insomnia can feel so debilitatingly isolating.
Thank you for sharing this. I completely agree that learning there's a pretty big gap between how bad you think tomorrow will be and how it actually turns out is one of the most useful things anyone with insomnia can learn.
The meta-awareness practice is interesting - sounds quite similar to ACT (I go into this a little in #2).
This is an interesting perspective. After I fall asleep, I often wake up after 90-120 minutes. I've attributed it to completing a full sleep cycle ( sleep stages 1, 2, 3, 4, 3, 2, 1, REM, wake up) and then taking another sleep cycle dip.
What's lethal for me is to wake up at 3AM and having to check the just-released New York Times crossword puzzle because I have to work on solving it.
I have a very complex job, and about once a month I'll wake up with a problem solved. I wish I could be billable while I sleep.
You're almost certainly having a brief arousal at the end of a particular sleep cycle - most people just roll over and forget it.
I think this is actually part of the problem with having devices so close to us at bed. It's easy to develop a habit of reaching for your phone during those windows, and before you know it you're hooked on a crossword or a YouTube rabbit hole, and fully awake.
Haha, I'd say bill for it, but I suspect your clients would want to audit your dream logs. Not sure I want them reading that...
It's always fascinating to me to read your articles about sleep and apply them through the lens of pregnancy, early motherhood (forced wake ups every 3 hours to feed, chronic sleep deprivation) and then through the early childhood years of frequent night wakings. So much of what is described here also anecdotally seems to happen to new moms. I wonder if the amygdala brain connection described here can amplify during postpartum for some women. (Thought it's a group that likely won't have the research done, because what woman would volunteer for a sleep study when she has a new infant? Not me! But I'm still curious to know!)
Found this utterly fascinating. I think I'm one of the unfortunates re the amygdala!
More and more people I know use podcasts to soothe to sleep. I was researching for a piece I was writing about it, and was stunned to discover half of American podcast listeners do just that.
I'm convinced we need to learn to cope with the silence. From my experience takes a little patience and training.
Your strategies here seem very valuable and actionable, will definitely give them a try.
Really glad the strategies felt actionable.
Half of American listeners is a pretty striking number. I think you're right that learning to sit with silence matters. Perhaps podcasts act as a kind of attentional shield, but they might also mean we never get comfortable with what's underneath.
Having said that though I still do listen to Youtube video's to fall asleep haha
Totally understandable! And no shaming implied! I love the term "attentional shield": perfect way to describe it.
This is a longer story, but I'm increasingly convinced that if silence is worth fighting for, then that battle is best done during the day, when one is alert and intentional. As mentioned, I used the otherwise "dead time" of the commute. I think that has had knock-on effects for my comfort with silence in the evening. My tired brain follows the lead of my awake brain. If that makes sense!
I've listened to the BBC'S shipping forecast to fall asleep. It makes no logical sense. I know nothing about shipping (I know boats skoot on water). I am 6400km from London.
This is such a great addition - I also have no idea what they're saying! I suspect it works in a very similar to 'cognitive shuffling' although I'm sure some of my family (who love sailing) would have some words to say about it being nonsense haha
I know it very well! Live quite close to London myself, but even so the names they mention feel very distant, in an evocative way. I still remember the first time I ever heard a "Hurricane Force 12".
I can totally understand why you'd listen to it, it's a lovely thing. It seems very far-fetched to imagine it would be in any way harmful. I think my curiosity is more about what's happening when more and more of our day can be filled with sound. About the absence of silence. But to explore it is challenging, because so many things that fill the silence are wonderful! Like the shipping forecast.
I am an avid listener to the BBC's "In OurTime," too. That show has no seditive qualities. I hope all is well aboard.
"In Our Time" is perhaps the greatest achievement of global media ever. I love that show more than anything. Now I think about it, having just written about the conflict between virtuous podcasts and silence, that really is the example I should have used. In Our Time is more or less perfection.
I think you're right about learning to cope with the silence in favour of using an alternative measure (like podcasts) to mute the thoughts.
I had great success with meta-cognition, compassion and reframing. What sort of strategies have you tried?
The literal answer to your question is that I commute wearing a high vis vest that says Phone Free Commute :-) So two hours a day of total mental quiet. I started because I realised my phone pickups were automatic and I wanted to train it out of me, and it's been really successful in that. I'm two and half months in now, and though it wasn't the starting point, have become very interested in the utility of silence.
I look forward to reading your work. Not very familiar with compassion and reframing so am keen to learn more. My technique very much based on meta-cognition, teaching the mind to recognise that part which automatically reaches for the phone. I'm very interested in how techniques from the contemplative traditions can be helpful in disentangling the mind from the phone, and repairing the damage.
Wow I can't believe they even make those! Did you custom build it?
Kind of! A standard high vis vest that I stuck a label on. It's somewhere between an experiment in neuroplasticity and a mid-life crisis. Plus I'm a TV producer so I love a good show.
In all seriousness, the social commitment of wearing it has been remarkably successful. And the effects of knocking out two hours of heavy phone use and replacing with intentional silence have been far more than I'd have expected.
I'm a practitioner/phone addict, not a scientist, so I actually used your piece the other week on dopamine as the intellectual heft in understanding my felt experience. I'd be honoured if you took a look -
https://phonefreecommute.substack.com/p/phone-free-training-manual-four-weeks?r=712j8x&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
What an ingenious idea to not only hold yourself accountable but also prompt others to question their phone decisions and usage as well. (And for 2.5 months now, congrats!)
Thank you! I thought it was too, but it hasn't always felt like that :-)
My adherence has been 100 per cent, and I'm as certain as I can be that I wouldn't have achieved it without the social commitment. It really works. And honestly, the benefits have been spectacular (kicking in at around the 4/5 week mark), so much so that I'm not sure when I'd stop.
Others questioning their usage…. Not sure that has happened! But have definitely had a lot of lovely conversations. It raises some smiles, a bit of brightness in an otherwise glum place anyway.
I have personal experience with sleep-performance insomnia and can viscerally relate to everything you wrote in this great article.
The two biggest movers of the needle for me were: (1) finding a way to accept the state of being awake, and (2) awareness the next day of the "impacts" of the bad night of sleep, and how they actually paled in comparison to the catastrophising thoughts the night before.
Acceptance (point 1) required practicing meta-awareness. When hit with a wave of panic, I would compassionately acknowledge the sensation (and thoughts) and then redirect my attention to the present moment. Again and again. This in itself would bring online the PFC and tamp down that over-wrought amygdala.
Wishing luck to anyone else going through a similar situation. Insomnia can feel so debilitatingly isolating.
Thank you for sharing this. I completely agree that learning there's a pretty big gap between how bad you think tomorrow will be and how it actually turns out is one of the most useful things anyone with insomnia can learn.
The meta-awareness practice is interesting - sounds quite similar to ACT (I go into this a little in #2).
This is an interesting perspective. After I fall asleep, I often wake up after 90-120 minutes. I've attributed it to completing a full sleep cycle ( sleep stages 1, 2, 3, 4, 3, 2, 1, REM, wake up) and then taking another sleep cycle dip.
What's lethal for me is to wake up at 3AM and having to check the just-released New York Times crossword puzzle because I have to work on solving it.
I have a very complex job, and about once a month I'll wake up with a problem solved. I wish I could be billable while I sleep.
You're almost certainly having a brief arousal at the end of a particular sleep cycle - most people just roll over and forget it.
I think this is actually part of the problem with having devices so close to us at bed. It's easy to develop a habit of reaching for your phone during those windows, and before you know it you're hooked on a crossword or a YouTube rabbit hole, and fully awake.
Haha, I'd say bill for it, but I suspect your clients would want to audit your dream logs. Not sure I want them reading that...
Hit a like please so that I can come bach and continue reading!
Marvelous!
It's always fascinating to me to read your articles about sleep and apply them through the lens of pregnancy, early motherhood (forced wake ups every 3 hours to feed, chronic sleep deprivation) and then through the early childhood years of frequent night wakings. So much of what is described here also anecdotally seems to happen to new moms. I wonder if the amygdala brain connection described here can amplify during postpartum for some women. (Thought it's a group that likely won't have the research done, because what woman would volunteer for a sleep study when she has a new infant? Not me! But I'm still curious to know!)